im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Will exercising make me less horny?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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