margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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