hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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