I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
