it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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