Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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