Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
