Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
