Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
