I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
