White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
