you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
