Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
