i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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