I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
