'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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