I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
