there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Holy sore nipples Batman
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
