Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
