That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She bit a glass in half.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's shark week go big or go home
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
