By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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