so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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