Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
