maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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