just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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