well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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