Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I will pee on everything he values.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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