I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
