Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
