He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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