I look better un-naked...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
