and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
