sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
