He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
