You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
