I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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