worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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