I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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