She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
