their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
