we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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