His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
