i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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