what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
