just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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