so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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