she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
