I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
