I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
