when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
