i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i barfeds in our rink
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
