I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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