i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
