Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
