Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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