So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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