need another drink. this is the easiest way
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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