Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
