His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
