Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
