apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He shit in the fireplace
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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